Kissin’ and a Cussin’
I love my girls. From the littlest to the biggest. Each day I get a reminder of how wonderful they are. Let me tell you a few stories about them.
Joslin my youngest is a little princess. Today she brought Juliette her makeup and said, “Mom! Make me a princess! I need makeup on!” I immediately said, “NO! No makeup on until you’re sixteen!” I have never seen a body crumple to the floor so fast. She was literally a limp rag doll on the floor completely heartbroken by her mean ol’ dad. Sobbing and with pleading eyes, she turned to her momma to plead her case. I turned my head to continue with my delicious dinner that my wonderful wife made when all of the sudden the crying stopped. “Hmm, that’s unlike her” I thought. I didn’t quite see it but I suspect that “momma” put some lipstick on her princess. UPDATE** Just confirmed, Juli did in fact place some lipstick on that girl to make her into a princess. Good to know that I am not the only softie when it comes to Jos the Boss the mighty mighty princess.
Both Joslin and Hailey are special special girls. Each has a distinct personality and way of doing things. One thing they do that is very similiar however is they like to mother things. Hailey mother’s her animals and plays with them all the time. Joslin likes to mother her dolls and make sure that they are covered in blankets and not cold. A few weeks ago, I came home and as I was getting out of my car, I twisted my back just right. By the time I got into the house I was in pain. I slowly climbed the stairs like a decrepit old man and barely made it to bed. As I laid there, Joslin came in to ‘check’ on me. She was asking all sorts of questions and genuinely concerned for my well being. Every so often she would kiss my arm or cheek and ask if that made me feel better. Of course it warmed my heart but my back, well I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it still hurt. After a few minutes of this, I figured she got tired of me because she abruptly left the room. I closed my eyes trying not to concentrate on the pain and I slowly drifted off. (It had been a long day after all!) All of the sudden I felt wetness on my forehead. As I groggily and grouchily came to, I realized that it was Joslin kissing me on the forehead. Having drifted off for my 5 o’clock nap, I didn’t realize that Jos came back into the room. She had come back with a doll and one of her favorite pink blankets. I was snug as a bug wrapped in her blanket with a doll sitting on my chest. She was sitting next to me and had been kissing me better. And people wonder why I am wrapped around her little pinky finger!
That was my kissin’ story. Now for the cussin’ story.
Juli and I gave away our TV’s before we moved to Utah. The events surrounding said TV giveaway are pretty well documented here.. To compensate for the loss of that entertainment we turned to the internet. Yes, I know, the internet, that magical and mysterious place where all your dreams can come true. At least that is what the brochure from that multi-level marketing company promoting a miracle drink that cures everything from Asthma to Zinc Deficiency Dermatitis said. Anyways, Juli and I found a wonderful website called Hulu.com. They show our favorite TV programmes on the interwebs! w00t!
So Juli and I have been closet TV watchers since giving our real TV’s away. It has been great because we don’t have to be slaves to a time frame. We can watch our favorite shows anytime we want. Sorry back to the story. Juli and I are watching a TV programme the other night and boom! A cuss word. Not a bad one, in fact it’s pretty common for this particular piece of profanity to be played on the airwaves. This word however was said in a funny context. Let me clarify, it was the way in which the word was said and the saying with out the word would have been meaningless. Lo and behold, Juli starts busting up laughing! Now, I am shocked. I have been married to this lady for nigh 11 years this March and I am speechless. Anyone who knows Juli, knows that she is the most kind and caring and righteous do-gooder you will ever meet. Well now you know her dirty dark secret. Her flaw, if you will, is that cussin’ doesn’t bother her and sometimes it even makes her laugh. Next time you see her, walk up to her and cuss at her. See what she does. There is a good chance she will giggle.
As I thought about this incident and reflected on past incidents, I realized that this was not the first time such an event had occurred. I remember one time back in 2002 when we were in the theater watching The Adventures of Pluto Nash starring Eddie Murphy, that a cuss word was said and Juli busted up laughing. It wasn’t even that funny.
Now, I am not talking major profanity you would hear at a Sam Kinnison show nor am I talking about ‘farm language’. I am talking your every day bible swearing that cracks her up. Sometimes I intentionally select scriptures like Genesis 22:3 just so I can hear Juli swear in front of the children. So please don’t walk up to her and drop an F-bomb. That would not be funny. As I wrote this, I actually imagined someone doing that and thought, “Hey that probably would be funny.” But please, still don’t do it. Unless I am around with my camera in hand and can get a picture of the moment.
As you have read this, you might have thought to yourself, ‘Wow, that was bold of Brandon to out Juli like that!” Well it was, and I am pretty darn sure that it is going to be a cold night tonight. I had to tell this story though. Why you ask? Well, a few weekends ago, we went out with some really good friends of ours and the subject came around to family blogs. The consensus was that reading about peoples perfect lives was well, boring and nonsensical. You can’t connect with perfection and it disingenuous to say the least.
I wrote this post to show that the Beecroft’s are not perfect. They are funny and quirky and shy and outgoing and just plain crazy everyday folk. To make things fair, I plan on posting a pretty embarrassing story about my addiction to Little House on the Prairie. That Michael Landon has to be like the 14th or 15th best actor of all time. Not to mention his directorial skills! Plan on reading that in the not too distant future.















